toodles-hikes
toodles-hikesSep 13th 2021

Day 3

I woke up early this morning, and it was cold. I do not know exactly how cold but the condensation on the inside of my tarp was liquid still, at least. The fact that there is condensation at all is proof that I am on a different trail than I was the last time I slept in my tent. It’s so cozy and comfortable, I drift back off to sleep. I dream of aspen trees, their shimmery leaves like pompoms. When I wake up again, I think about how awesome it is that I am able to (usually) be so comfortable with my little setup. My whole tent, stakes and all, is barely more than a pound and little more than a tarp with a net hanging inside just big enough to fit a Toodles. Toes decided it looks like a spaceship, and I decide it needs a name. My sleeping quilt is leaking down every day, but just a few feathers here and there. I have grown fond of the many tape jobs I have going on, and I’m resolute that it will last another couple thousand miles of walking. I usually go for as lightweight as I can in gear, but I splurged a few ounces for the extra wide inflatable mat. I can roll over on this thing and not fall off! It takes up almost every inch of floor space in my tent so if I’m inside my tent, I’m on the air pad, which is amazing to me. Numbers are all topsy turvy for me. I think of miles instead of most other units of measurement now. 486 miles of trail. 47 miles to the next town, 31 miles from the last. 23 miles to do tomorrow, 13 miles before our first water source, where we will most likely eat lunch. I convert hours, dollars, meals, water, places to sleep, and glory to miles. In a way, it is the only unit of measurement that really matters to us. Well, that is not true. There are also the memories. The experiences. Some numbers can be measured in that way. I do not know how fast the hawk flies, but I will never forget the sound it made when it swooped a few feet from my face. The experiences are my favorite. There are awesome echos here, and I asked them “Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you all?” I tell them about Pale Ale, Mange, and Wizard when the echo asks me back. They would like it here. It took climbing up to 12,192 feet of elevation today before Squeegie decided that she was not, in fact, going to die. I took in 400 milligrams of caffeine this morning, and was singing Broadway songs in fits and bursts at the top of my lungs while hiking up the same hill. I met a man at the top who told me about a girl he saw who was singing walking on flat ground and it made him feel out of breath. I was vibrating while he told me this and the sky went on for forever behind him, and mountains taller than any I have ever seen tickle the bottom of the sky in every direction I look. I see rain in the distance in three places, and I sit down and eat a bowl of cold beef ramen noodles from my talenti jar at 12k feet and watch the rain. It sprinkles on me for maybe one whole minute, and that’s the third most rain I have seen since leaving Tennessee on June 25. It excites me. What does not excite me, however, is my hemorrhoid. There is, of course, no good time to have a hemorrhoid, but it strikes me that this is a particularly inconvenient time. I learn a lot about hemorrhoid’s, what fiber actually is, and other things thanks to Squeegie being a hypoondriac. Poop is a huge part of life. Especially so out here. Sit down with a few thruhikers for a conversation and if poop doesn’t come up in the first couple of minutes send me a charge on Venmo. It’s @LoganRoark and it works the other way too. ;) We decide the best thing I can do is drink a ton of water and lay off the instant mashed potatoes and make sure to not ever push at all. I do kegels while I force down two liters of water straight from my filter. I will pee all night. It is so good to be able to have a fire. Toes built us a small, responsible fire in an established fire ring and we sat around it and talked about my hemorrhoid as a tramily tonight as the stars snuck in and the embers sizzled and popped. We looked through our food bags for the best combination of processed trail food that could make my situation any easier, and I resolve to never hike without at least a few stool softeners ever again. They are worth the weight. I got to talk to my Mama for a while today, and I spent the next couple of hours thinking about what it would be like if my entire famdamily packed up and went on an extended backpacking trip together. I decide the John Muir Trail is where we will go. I think that my Nana would be Ultralight. I imagine my Mama shaking her head and telling me and my brother how crazy we are for diving into freezing mountain lakes. By the time I catch myself, I have already decided what gear would be best for each of them, who can share tents and who would carry the extra fuel. I theorize on how many miles the famdamily could do a day. I decide my youngest cousins would get overly competitive with it and would end up leaving us all, cranking out 30 mile days as they race to Mount Whitney. I personify nature in strange ways and think often about the anatomy of dragons, and allomancy, and realmatic theory, and come up with weird fantasy scenarios in my head all the time. The idea of my family thru hiking together is probably the craziest one of all. I would not change a single damn thing about today, and I would bet four Slim Jim’s and a honeybun cake that I will feel the same way about tomorrow. It’s 9 pm now, hiker midnight. The conversations all die as soon as the fire hisses out, and red and white lights from headlamps bob through the forest as everyone makes their way to their perfect little tents. Everyone we are seeing is going the opposite direction of us, as per usual. A quick hour or so around a fire is all the conversation we will have time for, going our separate ways at different times early in the morning; them, WEBO to Durango tomorrow to finish up their hike, while we head NEBO to Denver, still with plenty of mountains to cross while the aspens prepare for fall. But it truly will not be a surprise when I see one or all of them again, on another trail, in another dimension, somewhere different. But I’ll probably still be walking the opposite way. As long as I’m walking, I’ll be okay.

toodles-hikes
toodles-hikesSep 12th 2021
1/4

Day 1

I have slept in five cities in the last five nights. A hostel in Bishop, CA with a whole host of characters; with the best trail angel on the west coast, Alyson, In Reno, NV; with friends I met on the AT, Uncle Sauce and Cranberry Mischief, who welcomed us into their home in Salt Lake City, UT, well after midnight in the middle of the work week with almost no notice (lifesavers); with one of the first new friends I made on the PCT, Twirl, at her home in Denver, CO, and gave treats to her cat Juno; then at the Budget Inn in Durango, CO, where the man at the front desk was so friendly. Tonight, I am sleeping by a babbling brook across a beautiful bridge that we did sunset yoga on, with Toes and Squeegie. This is the second first night on a long trail with these two in one season. The first night on the Pacific Crest Trail, June 27th, Squeegie was panicking because a zit popped on her face and there was a speck of blood and she had taken a Tylenol cold and sinus and was at elevation and she was sure she was going to die. Tonight, September 11th, she is panicking because she is camping at the highest elevation she’s ever been and she’s 100% sure she is going to develop symptoms of High Altitude Pulmonary or Cerebral Edema. As soon as I got in my tiny little tent and got cozy, I pulled a stake out accidentally and my tent collapsed. It’s good to be home. As we started the Colorado Trail today from Durango, I had a realization a few miles in. I am very excited for what this trail has in store for me, but I reflect on the first day of the AT, and the first day of the PCT which feels like both forever ago and last month, and notice how things have changed. It is still beautiful and wondrous, but it was an oddly rewarding feeling to realize that the novelty has faded somewhat, because this is just what I do. My body is lean, and my feet are callused and strong. I know the things I need in my pack, and where to find water and shade. I can tell when my energy levels change, and trace it back to what food I have eaten and how much water I have drank. I am aware of my needs. I know which patterns of thought to avoid, and how to breathe when carrying my whole everything uphill. This is just what I do now. I hike long trails. I use my creativity, adaptability, determination, and the help of my friends to climb mountains and descend into the valleys. I have all the time in the world to think, but I put something like effort into not thinking about anything that is not happening right here, and right now. I notice the tiny but jagged dragon, with red around his neck. A squirrel with the longest tail I have ever seen scolds me for kicking a pinecone out of the trail. It scolds me for a long time. The aspen trees are dusty, and we make handprints on our sunshirts. Some of the aspens look like they were dressing up as mummies. When the wind blows, the leaves make a specific sound and I decide that the aspen trees are the cheerleaders of the tree world. Beneath the green trees and around the white bark the rocky cliffs are red. I wonder if it is clay? I sweat more here than I did in the Sierra’s, but still way less than back home in Tennessee. I am carrying enough food for probably six or seven days, but I only need enough for four. I did not pay for any of the food, it all came from friends or hiker boxes in the Sierra’s, where JMT hikers leave bounties. I do not even realize this is heavy, because the last day that I hiked I was carrying a two pound bear vault which is now waiting for me back at Twirl’s house in Denver. Toes and I painted this narrative in our head where Pale Ale and Twirl got together and Pale Ale is like “Girl, I am getting rocked at work and the boys are in your time zone now.” She is holding the phone with her shoulder and using both hands to force her door shut as the undergrads of U-Dub try to make demands for her to give them things. Twirl cooks pizza and we talk about life and trail and things, then she tucks me in on her couch with an extra blanket and says “You know I can’t help but to be Trail mom.” Somewhere, Pale Ale is proud. I want to hike with them and hug them both. I am cozy in my tent, with enough extra clothes to have two pillows made from layers stuffed in a Buff. I think about how this both is, and is not, ultralight. I’m using things for multiple purposes, sure, but do I even need these extra clothes at all? I have never been to Colorado before though, and do not know how cold fall will be in these mountains that are so high I can smell the top of the sky. I might need them all. My goal is to journal my Colorado Trail thru hike every day just like this. My goal is to be as frugal as I can be. My goal is to remain present. But all of that starts with tonight, the first night on the Colorado Trail. Fist night, and I can already tell it is going to be some amazing sleep.

bivianli
bivianliJul 2nd 2021

Day 6

Town day!

caralenae
caralenaeFeb 27th 2021

February 27, 2021

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